Offbeat Beasts: Keg Golem — D&D Monsters With A Unique Twist
Written by the Goblins on October 3, 2018
Editor’s note: This is part of a series exploring cool, weird, or just plain interesting Dungeons and Dragons monsters from both Wizards of the Coast and third-party publishers such as Kobold Press.
Name: Keg Golem
Source: Creature Codex, Published 2018 by Kobold Press, MSRP $49.99
What it does: The Keg Golem follows the proud tradition of its less-golemy kind and transports ale hither and thither. A Keg Golem is created when a dwarf carves magic runes into a keg’s metal banding and carves a replica of their own face into the barrel. It can fire ale from its mouth in an attack requiring a DC 13 Constitution save on the target, and it has a rolling charge that I like to imagine looks like that kid from “Hook” tumbling down the steps:
BANGARAAAAAAAANG!
Why it’s cool: They contain ale, they shoot ale and, apparently, they run on ale. Like any good dwarven creation, Keg Golems need ale to function. They hold 20 gallons and use one gallon for each Ale Blast attack. If it runs out of ale, either from thirsty adventurers or firing their ale cannon, its speed goes down to zero and gets disadvantage on all attacks until it’s given at least one gallon. Pro-tip: Don’t let your Keg Golem run on fumes.
When to use it: Keg Golems, as printed, seem well suited for comedy relief in a campaign (and there’s nothing wrong with that), but there are ways to give them a dramatic turn. One could gain sapience and, in a “Planet of the Apes”-style turn, lead others of his kind in a rebellion.
Keg Golems’ hit points are kind of middling for CR 3 at 45, so one could be taken out by a full party fairly easily. If you have one or more dwarves in your party it could be fun to include one of these folks as a familiar/NPC/mascot to both keep your dwarves hydrated and deal some extra damage when you’re punching above your CR.
While today kegs are most closely associated with beer, they were, in days of yore, created by coopers to hold other things such as nails and gunpowder. A keg golem in your adventure could be the result of a human attempting to plumb the depths of this dwarven magic in an attempt to create their own golem to transport wares. Its Ale Blast action could be altered accordingly to a barrage of nails.
